


Long nights, daydreams

by asunflowergarden



Series: If you want to kiss the boy [1]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Angst, Comforting Bram, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Simon, Insecurity, Light Angst, M/M, Oblivious Simon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 11:10:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15047555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asunflowergarden/pseuds/asunflowergarden
Summary: Simon hung his head and stared at his knees, who had begun shaking ever so slightly."Were you disappointed?", he asked again, "That it was me?"-Simon feels insecure about his relationship with Bram, who is quick to comfort him and soothe his worries.





	Long nights, daydreams

"Were you disappointed?"  
Bram stopped rummaging and turned around from where he was standing in front of Simon's somewhat unorganized and messy desk.  
He focused on Simon, who was sitting on the edge of his large bed, his grey sheets clutched tightly in his hands.  
But Simon didn't seem to see him, seemed to stare right through him, his eyes distant and glassy and what was going through his boyfriend's head, Bram couldn't tell.

"What are you talking about?", Bram asked softly whilst cautiously closing the distance between them and sitting down next to Simon on the crumpled sheets.  
Simon hung his head and stared at his knees, which had begun shaking ever so slightly. "Were you disappointed?", he asked again, "That it was me?"  
"You mean about you being Jacques?", Bram questioned, frowning slightly, his head tilted in question.  
Simon nodded, looking awfully tired and vulnerable.

Bram slowly put his right hand to Simon's cheek, trying to get Simon to turn his head and look at him.  
He lovingly caressed the skin there, his thumb rubbing circles against Simon's cheek until the latter finally met his gaze.  
"Why do you think I'd be disappointed?", Bram asked tentatively, the thought of himself not wanting and loving Simon with every fiber of his being absurd and foreign to him.

Simon exhaled shakily before answering.  
"I don't know I just-", he leaned away from Bram, who let his hand rest on the bed spread next to Simon's, and stared at his knees again, his fingers now fiddling with the hem of his sheets, "I just know that I might not be what you had in mind. I'm not muscular like you or cool or confident.", he paused, "I don't know, sometimes it just feels as though it's not enough. As though what I can give you is not enough."

Bram couldn't comprehend what his boyfriend was saying, what he thought about himself, about their relationship.  
He hesitated in his answer, trying to come up with a way to make Simon understand how much he loved him, how he seemed to hold his breath every time Simon wasn't near, how he never again wanted to be without him especially after it took so long for them to find each other in the first place.

Simon visibly deflated, taking Bram's hesitation as an answer to his question.  
"I get it if you don't want to be with me anymore, I wouldn't either.", he pushed himself off of the bed, trying to create space between them, "Maybe you'll find someone else, someone-"

But before Simon could finish his sentence, before he could continue to put himself down, Bram grasped his arm and pulled him into his lap.  
They both stared at each other for a couple of seconds, Simon's gaze filled with a mixture of fear and hope, Bram's expression solely portraying the love and adoration he felt for his boyfriend.  
Bram once again put his hand to Simon's cheek and wiped away the first traces of tears there before leaning in and closing the distance between them.

The kiss they shared was soft and filled with desperation, Simon putting his arms around Bram's middle, his fingers digging into the fabric of the other's t-shirt and holding on tightly, the fear of being left still fresh in his mind.  
They separated from their kiss, only to lean their foreheads together, eyes gazing deeply into each other.

"Simon", Bram breathed lightly, "You give me everything that I need and so much more, just by being you, by being here."  
A soft smile started to spread on Bram's face as he thought about his love for the boy before him, how they were perfect for each other, how they complemented each other in the best way possible. 

"Si, do you think I'd be in a relationship with you if I didn't like you?"  
Simon averted his gaze.  
"I'm sorry it took me so long to show you my true identity but I am my own person, Si. I know what I want and who I want to be with and that someone is you. It's always been you."  
Bram kissed Simon once more, before hugging him to his chest, his hands drawing circles on the other's back.  
"I want you to know that I love you, Simon. With all my heart."  
At his words Simon visibly relaxed, all the fear leaving his body at once.  
"But I also want you to know that even if things didn't work out the way they did, even if we weren't together right now the way we are, you'd still be enough, Simon. No matter what anyone else tells you", Bram leaned down to kiss the top of Simon's head and hug him tighter, "You are enough."

They stayed like that for a while, Bram lightly moving his hand up and down Simon's back, the latter hugging Bram tightly, his face nuzzling Bram's neck.  
"Bram?", Simon whispered, his lips lightly touching Bram's skin.  
"Yeah, Simon?"  
The air around them had become impossibly light, their minds focused on enjoying the moment, trying not to let it pass them by.  
Simon closed his eyes and breathed in his boyfriend's scent, the familiar mixture of cinnamon and coffee soothing to him.  
"I love you too, Bram.", he whispered softly, his voice filled with adoration, longing and admiration.  
Bram just smiled brightly, little wrinkles forming around his eyes, Simon held soundly in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> So I went to see "Love, Simon" yesterday (because that's when it came out in Germany) and I cried a lot.  
> It's one of the best movies ever made and no one can convince me otherwise.
> 
> (The title of this story is a line from the song "Strawberries & Cigarettes" from the Love, Simon soundtrack btw)


End file.
